Archive for August, 2014

A 50-Something Speaks From 2015

August 6, 2014

This new budget is perfect.

In my day, we left high school and worked the farm or took an apprenticeship. It’s the best option. The school system doesn’t have enough money anymore and they’ve thrown out the Gonski education reforms we spent years and millions developing. What does David Gonski know about bright futures? He was born in South Africa, left after a massacre and is on 40 different corporate boards. He’s lost hundreds of millions of dollars in his life and had his masterpiece deleted from the government’s website in a second. I’m sure it felt like watching the house you built disappear. Gonski hasn’t struggled a day in his life.

No one needs Uni. Cut the funding, make them private. If you want to make big money, work in the mines. Hurry up, in 2020 China will stop using coal. How can you make money at Uni when a Journalism degree probably costs 90,000 dollars now? The youngsters who enrol for uni in 2015 won’t know how much their course costs. Well, insecurity and the shadowy threat of starvation hang over us all. Get used to it. If you change that, you ruin the way things are.

Can’t find work? Move. Leave your family, your girlfriend and your pets like the Anzacs did. Forget your friends and how home feels. Move, like the last 25 years didn’t happen. Forget you were alive, go to the mines and bury yourself. Move. We’re at war with laziness and there are the trenches. Will you die for your country?

A homeless boy just asked me for spare change. He said he has daily seizures, was trying to raise seven dollars to see the doctor. He’d made six. Idiot, he needs another five for a prescription, plus seven for an X-ray. If he had a job he could support his kids, but the Green Army can’t take him. Bludgers annoy me. Another was on a rental blacklist because she couldn’t pay both her rent and her uni fees. It’s the norm now. “Experts” like the CEO of Jobs Australia say young students and families will turn to crime and sex work. Did they write the budget? The only Expert is Joe Hockey. If he says there’s a good reason to give dole recipients nothing for six months at a time there must be, whatever it is.

We had it far harder, us from Abbott and Hockey’s generation. Walked two kilometres in the snow to schools that had enough resources and rooms that weren’t cramped. We didn’t have cushy video games, just a sense of community and far less depressed people. We worked our fingers away, because there was more than one job for every three job seekers. We were proud of the jobs handed to us when our free Uni courses ended. Now? We live far longer and we spend it all complaining. We can communicate with anyone, anywhere but we can’t go to the Ozone destroying jobs created by heroes like Gina Rhinehart. We can go into space, but we spend our lives on the lounge with our Nintendo machines.

It’s very likely I’ll be made redundant soon and I’ll get another job because for some reason, people love hiring over 50s now. Couldn’t we fund science, the arts, technology and other things that will make us great in 10 years when mining profits disappear and encourage entrepreneurs to create jobs in those fields, so that we have a cycle of job creation rather than creating an unemployed generation in a country where only one third of the jobless can get jobs? No, that’s silly. Let’s eat two thirds of the young and their babies.


Underreported News Week!

August 2, 2014

Journalism this week has sucked, so here’s what matters.
People who worked on Nauru are now allowed to talk about it in court. Basically everyone in detention is being abused in every way. There are no police checks or laws against child abuse, every kind of which is happening. They’re under oath.
There’s a court order to every newspaper and Facebook user not to report on any president of Malaysia, the presidents of Indonesia and Vietnam and several of their Ministers taking bribes, so don’t talk about it. It has something to do with China and Southeast Asia printing plastic money like ours.
An SBS journalist has been shot at several times on the MH17 crash site and doesn’t know which side fired, even though according to him, journos call them all separatists.
The Age today: “Israel soldier captured, 70 dead in Gaza.” LOL. Misleading headlines are considered horrible journalism and The Age knows better.

I like to bear good news so here are some Mitch Hedberg jokes. Wasn’t 2003 great?
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one, so I got a cake.
It’s very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know because what if they don’t have hands? They’ll think you’re cocky. Look what I got, fucker!
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.