Archive for December, 2009

Everything Nonfiction I’ve Written In The Past Month

December 17, 2009

Dear, compassionate reader, I know I’ve neglected you. I re-emerge, tattered with a scribbly beard that’s conquered most of my face, hair matted in man-oil from a lifetime unwashed, an untrained organic hollowness in my heathen eyes. I went missing in a jungle, was forgotten after a while. Nature and instinct taught me to kill a tiger with my hands and well-placed headbutts, lure cows off cliffs into a growing campfire below (my last memory of society was how similar this was to Road Runner cartoons, but with realistic, horrific sound effects) and talk to the plants. They told me which of them would cure me, poison me and guide me outside my body, into the spirit world this shamanic forest had grown and weaved itself so close to. Due to this, obviously I was high as fuck for most of my fight against natural selection, but it still sobered me into the native philosopher who witnesses death each day, among the animals he calls brothers, and thinks nothing of his own doom pulsing closer with the earth’s every breath.  I called it understanding the land that fed and hardened me. Psychologists call it Stockholm Syndrome.

No, I’ve just been busy. Though my beard is overgrown, and my eyes grow vacant before this computer screen. Yet, reader, you maintain my sanity. Read on, and know you are still my life. Naww.